A young man once told me, “there are no ‘good girls’ out there,” and went on to say how he believed they “are all bad little girls.” What he was saying was that there were no girls out there who were sexually pure, or even trying to be. This young man was saying this based upon his own experience. He was a very promiscuous young man at the time of this conversation. And he’s not the only one who feels this way. Many young women feel the same way about men. I’ve heard of several young women turning to homosexuality simply because they were convinced that all men are perverts. One of these young ladies on her very first date with a young man, who she had only met just one time before the date, was bluntly asked by this young man to perform a sexual favor for him. He had no shame, or any sense of reason that it was not OK to do or say such.
There are so many young people out there who are having sex today, without being married to the person they are having sex with, and it breaks my heart. I know many young people, and it seems that the majority of them are no longer virgins. Some of them are heterosexual, and some of them are homosexual. Just to be clear, homosexuality is never okay according to Scriptures. But let’s just focus on the heterosexual relationships for this article.
In a world where sex constantly bombards our minds through media, television, radio, and advertising venues such as billboards and commercials, and even in government where people are pushing for legal rights in regards to their personal sexual preference, it is no wonder people are having sex outside of the bounds which Scripture provides.
I want to go on record in stating that being a virgin is still respectable. It’s about time that we value sexual purity again. God set the guidelines for us to follow, and since He is our Creator, it would serve the human race well to take heed to what He says is best for us.
The Bible contains a great deal of history of the nation of Israel, and throughout the Bible, we find in the Jewish community that there was always a high regard for a virgin when searching for a wife. Many were intentional in searching for a pure woman, one who was a virgin, to be their wife. Why? Because they had a great deal of respect for those who kept themselves pure for marriage, and because it meant that the woman loved and honored God and His commandment to keep themselves pure. We now know the health dangers involved with those who are promiscuous, but God knew this all along, which is why He gave us commandments to abstain from sexual practices outside the bounds of marriage.
We live in a society today where people believe “if it feels good, then I’m going to do it,” or “if it makes me happy, then why should I wait,” etc. There are parents out there who actually encourage their children to have sex. For example, recently, another young man I know in his lower 20’s, who is dating a teenager, received a call from his girlfriend’s mother. This mother called to inform him that she and her husband were not going to be home the upcoming Friday night, and that he could “come spend the night” with her daughter, if he wanted to. She also stated that she wanted this to be a “surprise” for her daughter!!! My, how far we have come in this country!
Now, I would like to direct you to the Scriptures, because Jesus said “Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every Word that proceeded out of the mouth of God.” So let’s take a look at what God, our Creator, has told us concerning this topic. By the way, having sex with someone you are not married to falls under the classification of “fornication” in the Bible…
Galatians 5:19 KJV
 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these ; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness…
1 Thessalonians 4:3 KJV
 For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from
1 Corinthians 6:13 KJV
 …Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body.
1 Corinthians 6:18 KJV
 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
1 Corinthians 7:2 KJV
 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
1 Corinthians 10:8 KJV
 Neither let us commit fornication, as some of them committed, and fell in one day three and twenty thousand.
For some reason today, many people think that it’s okay to have sex before marriage. There are a lot of people who think that if you’re NOT having sex, that you are not normal. To hear that it’s wrong to have sex without being married to the person, is a foreign concept to them. Combined with the constant bombardment of sex in the media, many Christians have just shut up, and quit saying anything against it. Maybe some are guilty themselves. Maybe they think it’s being judgmental to say anything about it. I’m not sure. But since God said in His Word that it is wrong, a sin, then we Christians have a responsibility to stand up for what it says, and proclaim it to the world, in spite of the heat we may receive from the world or from other people who claim to be Christian. If we all did this together, then we could impact our country once again with the power of God’s Word, and improve our country’s immoral behavior. We
are the light of the world (Matt. 5:14). We are forced to think about sex all of the time through all forms of media, but this fact doesn’t wash away the fact that it is still sin to have sex before marriage. Our Creator, God, still cares that we obey Him in this matter. So, I want to say to all of you teenagers, if you are having sex, and you are not married, please stop doing it. You may say “I’m not hurting anyone,” but have you considered that you are hurting yourself? Remember the Scripture above which says you are sinning against your own body? God desires for us to remain sexually pure until we give ourselves away to the one we marry.
And I just want to say to all of you, whether you are a teenager, a young adult, middle-aged, or even older, that sex is created to be reserved for only those who are married (between a man and woman only).
Several years ago, I heard about a female teenager who not long after being born again, was being pressured by her friends to “go all the way” with a boy. Her response to this pressure still rings a powerful sound, even today. She replied, “I can be like you any day I choose, but you will never again be like me.” You see, once you lose your purity, your virginity, then you can never get it back. You have nothing left to offer to any potential future husband or wife, in regards to your purity as a virgin. Your first time should be with your first husband or wife. That is a part of the specialness of a new marriage, when two people (a male and a female) come together as virgins, and are able to offer their purity to each other. This is a powerful bond that starts the marriage off on the right foot.
I pray you will take to heart what I have said in this article, and if you have been having sex outside of marriage, or if you are in an adulterous relationship, or in homosexuality, then I beg you, please stop doing those things today, and ask God for mercy, to forgive you of these sin(s), and then turn your life to Him, and live a clean, pure life for Him thereafter. If you receive forgiveness from the Lord God, then He will make you pure and holy again. But He will also expect you to not repeat the same sins anymore, and to keep yourself pure and holy from sexual sins, until you are married. Jesus told the woman who was caught in adultery, “Go and sin no more.”
If you do it the right way, God’s designed way, then after you are married, you can have all the sex you’d like with your spouse (with consent, of course), and this would not be wrong. Hebrews 13:4 KJV says “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled…”
In closing I repeat, being a virgin is still respectable. Please, make this your goal today. J
Chris Caudill can be reached at [email protected]